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What Is The Sweet Life?

Savor each moment and you’ll savor a day.

Savor each day and you’ll savor a life.

So what is the sweet life anyway? 

It’s sleeping in (or in my case, trying to with Tony, the crazy alarm clock, jumping on my head).

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It’s mapping out your own path.

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It’s bubble baths.

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It’s road trips and weekend getaways.

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It’s long chats with your girlfriends.

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It’s nights with someone special.

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It’s the morning after.

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It’s making the most of your nights in.

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It’s playing the best hand with the cards you are dealt.

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It’s being brave enough to be vulnerable.

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It’s the beach and a blanket.

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It’s being treated like a lady.

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Happiness quotes, Brenda Della Casa, Walking Barefoot, Lifestyle Blogs, Luxury Blogs

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Man In The Box

I listened to your words and heard the sound of a dog barking.

I watched you chase your tail the way day turns to night.

I heard you erupt into a tantrum designed for toddlers and children,

and those whose egos recoil at the sight of accountability.

Your stumbling used to stunt me,

Your lies used to hurt,

I used to be exhausted, confused, and slightly disappointed,

Now I am just another audience member,

Staring in disbelief as you dip your hands in thicker misery and swipe it across your ever angry face.

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Your Secret

If only you acknowledged how far you have come,

How many lives you have lived and changed.

If only you understood your power,

Your endless ability to offer something unexpected,

To the world and to yourself.

You are not stuck or held down by your past,

And when you see what everyone else sees in you,

you’ll never worry or be trapped by fear again.

You’ll see life for what it truly is…

Your beautiful transformation…

in progress.

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The Five Stages Of Grief As Showcased Through Maroon 5 Songs

Have a heartbreak you’re trying to get through? Lean on Levine.   Stay strong, don’t text, and don’t get any tattoos.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

10thingstokeepinmind

Things I Am Loving Now

Tony’s Inability To Hide His True Feelings

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Author Brenda Della Casa and Tony Montana

The innovative and gorgeous shots of Kate Upton in Sports Illustrated

 I met Kate at an Axe event when she was a stand-in for a missing model and the next year she was on the cover of Vogue. Good for her!

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Playing The Best Hand With The Cards That Are Dealt

Sometimes you pull an Ace, the other times, we overlook the joker. That’s life. Stay in the game.

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Feeling Like This 

This Little Guy

“We Could Have Had It Allll…”

Dog singing, Brenda Della Casa, Authors, Luxury Blogs, Lifestyle Blogs, Fashion Blogs, Travel Blogs, Relationship Experts,  best lifestyle blogs, relationship advice, wedding advice, Weddings, Brides, Bridal, Live your best life, Happiness Blogs, Motivational quotes

Tasting Everything Life Has To Offer 

No need to stay hungry when there are so many things to taste, sip, savor and enjoy.

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The 60th Anniversary Cover Shots of My Favorite Magazine, Playboy

I am a huge fan of Hef’s and adore everything about the Playboy editorial model.

Kate was a lovely choice for the cover and the classic suit is right on brand.

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Gin Martini’s

Garnished with exciting conversational fencing, natch.

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What Dreams May Come

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Old School Nights Out

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The Power We Have To Bring Joy Into a Moment

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Deco

Living La Bella Vita

You are what you listen to

Want more Beautiful Life Inspirations? Visit my Living La Bella Vita Pinterest Board.

(Photos: 1.Illustration by J.C. Leyendecker, 1932.  2. Tyler Smith)

Triumph and Disaster, Author Brenda Della Casa Lifestyle and Luxury Blog

Love. A Retrospective.

Sometimes,

We have to let go of a great love,

To have a great life.

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Things I Know To Be True

It’s important to move on with your life, in real time, else you could miss out on a lifetime while sorting through memories.

Sometimes the loss of love will make you act really, really out-of-character. Most of the time you’ll find your balance again, and when you do, you’ll have a great lesson to share with the next person who starts to tilt.

There are moments when taking your life back becomes less important than building a new one.

Reaching out to someone who has made it clear they have no desire to reach back is not romantic, it’s a form of harassment.

The process of learning something new about yourself often comes by way of one hell of a breakdown.

Romance often flows from the most unexpected places.

For the one who still loves, the chapter remains open. The pages become worn, the ink is smudged, and finally, the real story unfolds.

Just because love has ended doesn’t mean respect should.

If he’s not fighting for you, he’s not the one.

Everyone has opinions and things about them that could be deemed targets for judgement.  If we spend our life trying to avoid being judged, we will never do anything interesting or worthwhile.

Most people want something from you. It’s up to you whether or not you will hand it over, and at what price.

Everybody wants to be loved and accepted for who they really are.

He or she who has something to say about everyone else has little to share.

There is something to be said about those who make efforts for romance, however fleeting.

He or she who has pride in their work often becomes an irreplaceable part of a team.

There’s something really wonderful to be said about a man who will look you in the eye and tell you to be better to yourself.

There is no point in trying to change someone else or their mind about you. The only thing we can do is be the best person we can be and live the best life we can live and hope that those who belong in our lives see our efforts and are committed to doing the same.

It’s not about finding someone to catch you if you fall, it’s about knowing how to stand back up, dust yourself off and laugh because you know that stumbles are just a part of life.

What do you know to be true?

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A Life Worth Loving

It’s choosing to move forward.

It’s expecting the best from yourself.

It’s a wide-open mind and firm boundaries.

It’s getting up every morning, lighting the match and igniting your passion.

It’s taking care of yourself on every level–physically, spiritually and emotionally.

It’s protecting your peace.

It’s honesty.

It’s forgiveness.

It’s unquenchable curiosity.

It’s authenticity.

It’s appreciation.

It’s a flirtation with coffee underneath the rays of the sun.

It’s meaningful relationships.

It’s a walk with your dog.

It’s a meal prepared listening to Edith Piaf.

It’s a new class.

It’s an old friend.

It’s the perfect playlist.

It’s grace under pressure.

It’s a moment that only your heart captures.

It’s a journey to a foreign land.

It’s giving it a try.

It’s letting go.

It’s laughter with your best friend on a Saturday afternoon.

It’s acceptance.

It’s butterflies when you exchange numbers.

It’s big dreams.

It’s taking action.

It’s a wonderful new chapter, in a book, in existence.

It’s the perfect cocktail.

It’s empathy.

It’s a lovely exchange.

It’s freedom from limitations.

It’s warm cookies delivered to your neighbors.

It’s self-respect.

It’s please and thank you.

It’s never giving up.

It’s belief in yourself and something better.

It’s your life.

Love it.

Love tears

The Hardest Gift

I would love so much to say the words my heart writes to you in every thought.

I would be so grateful to see your eyes light up at the sight of mine,

Which would light up the moment I knew I would see your face again.

I would forget every harsh word.

Every misunderstanding,

Every misstep.

I would run back and grab the hand of hope and pull it in your direction,

Both of us happily greeting you with open arms.

But I know that is not what you want from me right now.

And so I will stay silent in my corner of the world.

And love you.

Unconditionally.

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Friends With a Monster…

 

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Hands in the rain Black and white photo, Author Brenda Della Casa Lifestyle and Luxury Blog

Five Things No One Tells Us About Love

Healthy Love is a Four-Way Street. Wait, what? Did you mean two-way street, BDC? No, I didn’t.  Did you just refer to yourself in the third person? Yes, I did.  Hear me out: It’s not enough to love someone and have them love you back (though that is a good start because loving someone who doesn’t love you back stinks). You must both also love yourselves. I know, I know. It sounds new-agey and a little hoaky, but there’s some real truth to it. Having loved people before I loved myself and loved those who loved me sans the self-love, I have both experienced and caused the unintentional burn. Thus, I am a firm believer that one block on any of these roads will cause a relationship to crash and burn.  Think about it; if someone does not feel they are worthy of love, they will likely be skeptical of its sincerity or sustainability. They may even be afraid of it. What do we do to things that we don’t trust or otherwise threaten us? Ever heard of fight or flight?

You Can Live With Pain: It’s a sad fact that some relationships come to an end, and it often hurts like hell when they do. We cry, we (pour the) wine, we wail, we  analyze, we wonder what went wrong, how “they” could change, etc.  We basically try with everything inside us to run back “to the beginning” or make sense of nonsense.  This often leaves us stuck in a chaotic purgatory where we resist what is and what may become by trying to turn back time or waiting to “stop loving” someone. The problem is, regardless of whether or not the thoughts are positive or negative, they become the focal point of your entire life. Here’s a secret: Though it can feel utterly life-threatening, it is quite possible to love and miss someone and still move on with your life. You can close the chapter without “closure” and you can accept that there is no “reason” that will be good enough to balance out the pain you have felt as a result of what has happened. The initial steps are not easy, but neither was anything else that was worth doing. Bottom line: Hold onto a shoulder if you need to, but take the steps.

If They Have Let Go, Let Go: Anyone who has ever reached out to an ex only to hear iPhone crickets knows that fighting for love is only romantic when both parties are still interested in being together. When that’s not the case, all kinds of negative words are used to describe the acts of holding on and reaching out (especially when sent after midnight and with a spelling slur).  As much as you may want to remind them that you miss them or wish them a happy birthday, sometimes, the most loving gift you can give someone else (and yourself) is to wish them well and let everyone involved move on with their lives (hint: step away from the phone and get back to moving on).

You Can Know If You Loved (or are Loved) Based on Desire. Do you desire only the flesh? That’s lust. Do you desire to learn more about them, to understand their soul, to make things right, to treat them right, to protect them and respect them? That’s love.

Love Is Not All We Need.  Thank G-d for that. If it were, a lot of us would have stayed in situations intellect and intuition got us out of.

GregoryPeck

Friday Swoon: Gregory Peck

Though I do love Mr. Gable, Mr. Peck is without a doubt my absolute dream man.  Handsome, loyal, honest, talented and kind man, it is said that he was more likely to be found throwing a dinner party with his wife than being seen on the town.  Mr. Peck was known as a classic class act with a strong moral fiber (swoon-worthy, indeed!). As for his being easy on the eyes, well, the phrase “Movie Star Good Looks” had to be based on this golden age heavyweight.

Now, I know you guys and dolls might not understand the first picture choice but I have a thing for men in old-school pajamas. I definitely have a thing for Gregory Peck in old-school pajamas.

Sigh.

Swoon.

Faint.

Triumph and Disaster, Author Brenda Della Casa Lifestyle and Luxury Blog

A Dangerous Affair

Faye Dunaway as Bonnie Parker in Bonnie and Clyde on Brenda Della Casa's Lifestyle Website BDC Life in Style.

“In modern war…

you will die like a dog for no good reason.”

Earnest Hemingway

Black and White Photograph of Man and Woman on Beach

(Living The) Rest (Of Your Life) in Peace.

There was that moment when you were certain that you’d be there forever.

Arguing with your intellect and audience that there was nowhere else to go.

Complete in the vortex whipped up by the proud opposition of dissatisfaction and hope…

You waited.

You wailed.

Morning became evening,

Which became mourning.

Anchored by a desire so heavy it caused determination to snap.

Impulse became habit,

Which became compulsion,

Which became chaos.

Heavy heart,

Heavy breathing,

Heavy burden,

Then…

Stillness.

Clarity.

Acceptance.

Gratitude.

And finally,

Goodbye.

Elizabeth Taylor

If You Were Me

If you were me,

You’d know the ache of purgatory,

How it feels,

To be stuck,

In between sincerity and misunderstanding,

Right and Love,

Past and Future.

If you were me,

You’d know the burning taste of wet salt on frowning lips,

The sound of a drumming heart in a thick silence,

The faint cry of hope in a far away cellar.

If you were me,

You’d have forgiven,

And forgotten,

Everything but love.

If I were you…

I’d…

Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffanys

Sometimes…

We have to accept that all of the wishes and hopes and prayers and love will not bring back someone who doesn’t want to come back. As painful as it may be, sometimes the only choice we have is to be grateful for what was in that moment, to wish them and yourself well and move on.

Being the stronger person means that you will hurt more.

You will scream out and hear only silence.

Losing something is the best way to learn how to not lose a second time.

A kiss will offer a new beginning or the end of something that never was.

You have to take the first step before it can become second nature.

A second chance comes in an unexpected way.

You must choose between being right and doing the right thing.

Intelligence will wipe beauty across a seemingly dull face.

Passion will unleash itself in a quiet moment.

Friends will walk over to you, grab your hand and pull you into a better day, whether you like it or not.

Tomorrow will bring about a life change you never thought possible.

The universe will not bend in its determination to protect two people from the wrong kind of love.

You realize you’re knocking on the door of a heart with no room for you and you simply must stop.

Get it, girls!

A Night With The Knicks

Last night, I had the pleasure of attending my first live basketball game thanks to a generous new friend (thanks, Jonathan).  While they didn’t win (bummer), the whole experience was definitely one I would like to enjoy again.   I mean, how bad can gorging on cotton candy in a beautiful arena with a bunch of screaming New Yorker’s be?

A few pics from the night.

First game, great seats!

First game, great seats!

John McEnroe sitting across the court.

John McEnroe sitting across the court.

(Not so little) Bow Wow getting his Sprite fix to the right of us.

(Not so little) Bow Wow getting his Sprite fix to the right of us.

Knicks 5

DeAndre Jordan and Tyson Chandler

Knicks 10

Get it, girls!

Somehow, I was coerced into eating this.

Somehow, I was coerced into eating this.

Game in progress.

Game in progress.

Knicks 7

My friend, James, called it “gross” but I call it “ah-mazing!”

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Things I Am Loving Now

The Brilliant Photographs in Vogue

Annie Leibovitz has long been known for her sophisticated artistic edge, but the photographic homage she pays to artists of the past is one of her finest presentations. See them here on Vogue.com.

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Peter Thomas Roth Power K Eye Rescue

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Whether as a result of late-night toasting, early morning training or the deadline-beating that occurs in-between, my nights were starting to make unexpected visits in the morning, and the whole situation felt a little shady–under the eye. Concealer was working until I got a black eye (don’t ask) and wound up with a hemosiderin stain under the eye, there was no makeup that could come to my rescue. Three lasers later, the stain was better, but still not able to be covered. After spending 300 in Sephora and 300 hours online, I came upon Power K Rescue from Peter Thomas Roth. Within five days, there was a noticeable difference.  Is it completely gone? No. But I can now look in the mirror without the heavy sigh that has accompanied every reflection since November.

Amy Adams

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Having lived in Los Angeles briefly (while working in television) I have seen the youth-obsessed culture firsthand and when I experienced the toss-the-soul-keep-the-shell demand in its most concentrated form, I knew that my big screen dreams, as big as they were, were no match for the tiny minds that promised to “make me a star”.  Amy Adams is one of those rare women who stuck it out (without letting it all hang out) and was able to step into her leading lady spotlight for the first time in her third decade when many actresses are sent to their respective character roles (and aspiring ones are sent home). To see her now, at the end of her 30′s, finally being recognized by the entertainment world is really wonderful, mainly because she is so open and honest about her appreciation of it all. Well done.

Blue Jasmine

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Ah, Woody Allen. Most movie fans either love him or hate him.  I am one of the former (even after the When In Rome fiasco).  I loved this film from the moment the credits began (the music told me everything I needed to know) and it was nice to not have Woody back to directing and not played by one of his actors.

Antica Pesa

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Well, this is misleading. I always love Antica Pesa, but with a trip on the reservation books, I am especially delighted to be visiting my glamorous Brooklyn home away from home. This hot spot, along with its Roman brother and owners Lorenzo Lisi and Francesco Panella, is well-known among the Hollywood jet-set, but the fact that they treat everyone like they’re Oscar-worthy is what makes this place so special.  I am forever indebted to Lorenzo for single-handedly changing my bucket-list trip to Italy on a whim, but forever grateful that he became a lifelong friend. And in case you’re wondering, the food is not just incredible, it’s the best Italian you’ll have outside of [their restaurants in] Rome.

The Fact That Karma Does The Dirty Work

You don’t need to sit and wish they would realize this and that. They will.

You are not on this earth to tutor someone who doesn’t get it or give you the love, respect and attention you deserve. You just keep enjoying your good fortune that is beckoning you right here, in real time.

You’ve earned it.

This

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Seriously, don’t. A man who loves you will speak up.

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When The Hope of Tomorrow Becomes The Promise Of Today

With the opening of her heart came a risk,

With each step forward,

a subtle crack.

Finally filled with so much light,

It shattered.

There was pain.

Followed by nearly a year of darkness,

in which hopelessness circled around her,

like a shark smelling the blood that seeped from her wounded spirit.

Just as the flailing and fear began to trail off,

she began to succumb.

But something saved her just in time,

A new day.

Fashion, Blonde Hair, Women's Fashion, Brenda Della Casa

She Who Is Sufficient

BDC

There was a sweeping volatility,

A loud burst of emotion,

A weeping flood,

and then,

silence.

In the stillness, she stood,

listening only to her breath.

The beat of her heart slowing down,

As the smoke replaced a glistening fire.

She had been here before,

And not so long ago,

But this time, it was different.

For she knew her way around.

No intimidation from uncertainty,

Or the slightest bit of fear,

She would navigate with logic,

and find her way out.

And her awareness of her ability to do so is what made all of the difference.

(Photo Courtesy of Pinterest)

Penelope Cruz, Brenda Della Casa

The Break After The Breakup

She wasn’t sure how it all happened.

How they went from everything,

To nothing.

How he went from wanting all of her,

To not wanting her at all.

How he morphed from her great love,

Into a stranger.

She cannot pinpoint the moment when she changed,

From the capable woman she was,

Into the insecure girl she had allowed herself to emulate.

How she wasted expensive tears and moments,

Hoping and pleading for a weak man with powerful words,

To run back in time,

And be the powerful man with a weakness for her,

The man he was,

For a moment,

When  they first met.

But through the crying,

The yearning,

She was learning…

That,

for her,

he was wrong,

And she was strong,

And the right man would come along.

And finally,

Thankfully,

When he did capture her heart,

There would be room for him.

 

LOVE Sketch

Should You Focus In, Fight or Fly Solo?

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Sure, having a relationship has its perks…

But so does flying solo.

Whether you’re considering clearing your dance card, wondering if your current relationship is worth the fight or simply thinking about leaving, here are questions to ask yourself:

How well do you feel you know him? What do you know about his childhood, family, background, jobs, dreams and goals?

If you were to forego the feelings and analysis and  write down only the facts on paper, what message would you get about him and the relationship?

Do you feel like his “everything”, an obligation or option?

Does he take responsibility for himself or blame others for things that go wrong in his life?

If there is a communication breakdown, does he try and resolve things, go silent or try to “win” the argument?

Is he able to speak with you about difficult issues in an open and respectful way?

If you called him crying, how would he respond?

As a whole, can you count on him?

Does he make future plans with you?

How often do you see and hear from him and in what context?

Do you feel secure, not just in the relationship now, but where it’s going?

Do you feel like you can reach him most of the time or are you always waiting for a response?

Have you been invited into his life and introduced to the people who matter most to him?

Does he show an interest in your life, knowing your friends and meeting those who mean the most to you?

What does your gut say about the relationship?

Would he fight for you?

When he is out does he go MIA or does he make an effort to let you know you’re on his mind, even with just a few random texts?

Do you feel as though you can share your feelings and concerns openly and does he care about them?

Do you feel there is an equal amount of initiation, affection, give and take?

Does he appreciate the person you are?

Do you see more effort or hear more excuses?

Does he make you feel safe, loved and respected consistently?

Does he remember things that are important to you?

Are you happy at least 80% of the time?

Do you feel loved/respected all of the time?

Do you feel supported?

Would you want your best friend/sister to date a guy just like him as he is right now?

 

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The Right To Fight For Peace of Mind (and Heart)

Brenda Della Casa

The world is yours.

Not to own or to control,

But to discover.

You have gone from girl to woman,

From boy to man, 

From who you were,

To who you are now.

This life, your life, belongs to you.

You choose whether to cower or to stand tall and stare down fear.

You decide whether or not to toast, to learn, to challenge, to move on.

You choose to smile with those who lift you up or cry with those who pull you down.

Let those who seek discomfort find it without you.

Allow those with inner battles fight without you.

Offer a helping hand, not your right arm.

Allow your good character to shield you from venom.

Count on your self-respect and awareness to protect you from manipulation.

Send love to those who toss salt upon you, but do walk away.

It is not your job to save them, nor your responsibility to protect them from themselves.

You are not here to suffer for the sins and shortcomings of others.

You are here to love and be loved.

You are here to respect and be respected.

You are here to build your best life possible without someone tearing you down.

Fight only for those who fight beside you.

And for your right to live.

Peacefully.

 

dancingpassion

Dancing in (Mis) Step

Yes,

I have loved passionately,

I have trusted carelessly,

I believed promises that deep down I knew were false.

I have chased when I should have stood still,

I have stood still when I should have run,

and

I have grabbed tightly when I should I have let go.

There were times when I needed,

even begged,

for reassurance,

when I already knew they were unsure,

and I feigned comfort in their generous lies.

I have made mistakes,

took missteps,

and misunderstood.

I have done things to make some judge,

And others smile,

but this life I have lived is my own,

And on glorious occasion,

I have danced.

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Changing The Filter

She had looked at life through their lens,

Staring  at the image in the mirror,

One carelessly sketched out by them.

Dots connected by a string of words,

whispers and stories,

and promises broken and exchanged.

Shaded by the the secrets and lies told to and about her,

She had developed in the chaos as they pushed and pulled her away.

She had tried to match their vision with the reality that she knew,

While gripping onto the idea that it would be the only one she would know.

But there in the the light,

Under the sun that looked down upon her lovingly,

She thought.

She smiled.

And standing in a world that belonged to all of them,

She pictured the life she wanted to live…

And set it into motion.

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When Two People Go Off-Script

 

One thing I have learned through the delicate dance of living is that if interactions with other humans were caught on film and each participant went off to write and direct one based on their experience (and interpretation of the characters involved) you’d have yourself a film festival.

There would be drama, comedy, horror and perhaps even little sci-fi (no, really, if you have ever conversed with a narcissist, you’d swear they were a robot).

Filters have a funny way of making us hear things that were never said and how many times have we pulled a method acting approach in a new scene, causing us to interact with the new cast mate in front of us the way we acted with an old cast member?  The plot really thickens when  someone goes off-script and tosses in a few lines no one expected.  Everyone starts improvising and before you know it, you’re in a whole new genre.

So what do you do if you auditioned for a rom-com and found yourself in a heavy drama? Here are a few ideas:

 

Yell “Cut”: I don’t care how great the location, costumes, actors are, bad dialogue will ruin a perfect set-up faster than you can say “rewrite”.  If you have found yourself in a situation where words are being tossed like popcorn, just stop.  This is not a power play, it’s protective.  The more you say, the more you cannot take back.  The more you engage someone who cannot control their anger or language, the more they cannot take back.

“Act” Like Someone Who Cares:  This is true even when you have had a knock-down, drag-out fight.  Showing compassion, empathy and respect for another person maybe a challenge when they have hurt you, but showing it for the relationship you care about is often the first step on the road that leads to the ending you hope to have.

 

Think Big Picture:  OK, so both of you are in different trailers and refusing to continue the movie. If you are sure that want to walk off-set, go.  If you’re holding up filming because of ego, anger (bloated hurt) and your penchant for being a stubborn diva, it’s time to choose between being right and doing the right thing.

 

Beware of Gossip Hounds: You’re hurt, you’re sad, you’re angry, and let’s face it:  They were so wrong to say/do what they did.  Running to friends for support at this crucial moment is not uncommon, but be sure to choose those who have proven themselves trustworthy in the past and even then, prepare for a few whispers should you decide to walk the red carpet together again. Should you have read this too late and are now facing negative press, you can simply make a small statement that you have decided to put the past behind you and give it another try.  No more, no less.

 

Don’t React, Rewind:  So, you have finally found your way under one roof with your leading man or lady, co-star or colleague.  Now what?  You could rehash every unedited line, misstep or compete for the spotlight or you can take a step back, share your appreciation for the other person’s talents, allow them to speak their dialogue without interruption and show compassion when they forget their lines.


Be Prepared To Press Eject: You cannot carry an entire movie alone.  If the other person is unwilling to train, take their mark and play their part,  it’s time to toss the script and find yourself someone who in supports your role.

Girl meetsBoy

Easy Ways To Know If He’s Worthy Of You

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot

Darling Girl,

You never have to ask your friends what he’s thinking, because a man who wants to be with you will let you know.

He’ll want to reach out.

He’ll want to see you.

He’ll want to take you around town on his arm.

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner

A man who wants to be with you (and deserves to be) will reserve your Saturday night’s before someone else does.

He will treat you with respect while you’re there…

(and even when you’re not).

He’ll look at you and smile because he enjoys your company…

He is happy that you’re with him,

And maybe even a little proud.

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot Clark Gable Carole Lombard

He will know that games are for little boys and a woman like you needs a man.

He won’t be vague about his feelings or sit on the fence.

You’ll know what he wants and where he stands (next to you).

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot Steve McQueen Natalie Wood

He’ll listen to you,

remember the small details,

and make grand gestures.

He’ll want to wipe away tears, and not cause them.

Brenda Della Casa Walking Barefoot  Marilyn Monroe Arthur Miller

You will have disagreements,

Growing pains,

But he will want to work through misunderstandings,

and he will know how to forgive.

When it’s right, you won’t have knots,

you’ll have butterflies.

And he won’t make you wonder,

he’ll just make you feel wonderful.

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A Tale of Two Faces

- BDC

They watch from across the room,

 Raising a a glass to all of the layers,

 Your dress,

 Your smile,

 the person they need you to be.

 Never you.

Their walk is direct,

 Their eyes, in focus.

 Soon, their tongue begins to swirl their drink,

 and finally,

the intoxicating promises you know better to believe.

 The flattery is too good not to swallow,

 and you’re soon drugged by the desire,

 To be desired.

Glances become numbers exchanged,

 Encounters are pleasant,

 Until they’re not.

The soul comes closer to the surface,

 Finding its way out through the mouth,

 The glaring and shifting eyes,

 The touch that is just slightly too aggressive.

The mask begins to crack,

 Your heart begins to break,

 and suddenly you realize,

There are two of them…

One you loved,

and one you never knew at all.

(Photo of Gatsby courtesy of IMDB, Leo Washington Post)

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Graceland, Baby!

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

My love of Elvis Presley has been shouted loudly from this blog, Twitter, rooftops, tabletops, and now…

Graceland!

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

That’s right, folks. I can die now.

I will be writing about my bucket-list adventure in the coming weeks, but thought I would share a few photos (and two of my favorite songs/videos) in the meantime.  Note: A Huge thank you to the staff at Graceland for going above and beyond to make our trip a special one. Those gift bags were amazing!

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

One of his Vegas Capes. They are gorgeous up-close.

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

Elvis played and sang his last song on this piano the day he passed away.

Brenda Della Casa, Elvis Presley, Graceland, Memphis, Jumpsuits

The King’s closet on the Lisa Marie.

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A New Chapter Begins

Darling,

I laid around and really thought about it,

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and kept busy while I waited around for your call,

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I have stared out at the world for a long time. Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 5.44.21 PM

Giving you a window of opportunity that you never took.

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The silence was deafening, but also brought clarity,

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For in it, I remembered that I am still fabulous, strong, fun and functional me,

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Even without you.

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 I suddenly had an idea…

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I would walk out of the waiting room and get back out there and smile,

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Even if it’s still raining.

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Women I Love: Diana Vreeland

Fabulous.

We’ve all used the word, but what does it really mean? Webster defines it as “amazing, wonderful” and then lists “exaggerated; overstated, embellished” and “extreme; beyond reason and convention” as secondary definitions.

Then it’s settled: Diana Vreeland was fabulous.

Born in Paris to a mother who found her “rather ugly” and a father who demanded an English approach to the showing of emotion, Ms. Vreeland (nee: Dalziel) was born in Paris (which she loved) and raised in the Rockies (which she loathed). When she moved to New York with her family, she took up dance both onstage (Carnegie Hall) and off (speakeasy floors).  Guess which one she claimed to enjoy most?

She decided “to become the most popular girl in the world” and developed a reputation for being  fast–”I rather enjoyed the company of Mexican and Argentinian men who loved to dance as much as I did,” she said– and fun.   Things slowed down in the man department when she met Thomas Reed Vreeland and found him to be “the most beautiful man in the world.”  Better yet, he helped to calm her own insecurities about her looks. “He made me feel beautiful,” she said.   The two were married quickly which she found “Fabulous, of course.  It was love at first sight, and that was romantic. All things that were romantic were just wonderful,” she said.

Still, while other brides settled down, days full of pie-making and sewing were not penciled into her life plan. This seemed to go over well with her new husband.  He appreciated her  joie de vivre and encouraged it.  Good thing because it led to her discovery and wound up benefiting generations to come.

One night, the newly married, self-professed “lazy girl” hit the town and found herself  dancing on the rooftop of the St. Regis hotel in her white lace Chanel dress and bolero (and roses in her hair, natch).  She was making a scene in her usual way and caught the eye of Harper’s Bazaar editor, Carmel Snow.   Snow admired her unusual fashion sense and brought her on-staff.  Vreeland started “Why Don’t You…” a decadent advice column that suggested things like wearing diamonds in your hair and velvet gloves everywhere.  Note: She is credited with coining the word “pizzazz” in that series.

When the war hit, the column seemed ridiculous, but Snow had more in store for Vreeland and annointed her the first fashion editor-ever.  It was a brilliant move, one that changed the face of fashion editorial forever. With her near psychic ability to see what readers, designers and fashionistas would covet long before they themselves knew, Mrs. Vreeland was a force in the world of design and rocked editorial like no one before (or after) her.  Vivacious and sharp–she discovered Lauren Bacall, Twiggy and convinced Manolo Blahnik to design shoes–she believed in infusing all things–even gloom–with something glamorous.  “Don’t tell a story if it’s boring, even if it’s true,” she would say. “A lie to get out of something, or take an advantage for oneself, that’s one thing; but a lie to make life more interesting—well, that’s entirely different.”

While she admitted to exaggerating “everything,” from her fashion to her fireside, champagne-soaked tales, there’s no denying her incredible talent for fashion, editorial, and and life.  She was exactly the kind of woman I fall madly in love with: Smart, successful, glamorous, romantic and totally independent.  I would have loved to have sat with her and just listened to her speak.  I imagine she’d give me fantastic insight, such as this wonderful piece of advice.

“There’s only one very good life and that’s the life you know you want and you make it yourself.”

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Preston Bailey

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In Living Color

“Get your priorities straight,” he demanded.

She didn’t know what to say.

She had always believed that she knew what meant the most to her,

What she desired in her heart of hearts.

Here he was offering her a piece of that,

in his own way.

It would not be perfect,

but what was?

She thought about it.

She didn’t feel the urge to run the way she had in the past.

Yes,

she ached for that,

for him,

But also her life.

One that she had just started to experience,

With it’s so fullness,  freedom and room to breathe.

One could not be replaced by the other,

Didn’t he understand?

“You need to figure out what you want,” he sighed.

She stood confused.

 She wanted it all.

With him.

She excitedly tried to share what she thought he knew

But he only heard “no”.

At that moment, she realized that they were living in two different genres…

He was talking in black and white,

She was living in Technicolor.