Unleash Your Power

Brenda Della Casa, Fearless Living

Looking back, she couldn’t help but to shake her head,

not in regret,

But at her own misconceptions.

Fortunately, experience had taught her that this was what “growing” up was all about…



If not for the lessons she learned when she held herself back in order to be deemed “nice” and “agreeable” to those around her, she would have never learned that being nice to herself was equally, if not more, important.  She would not have understood that others who asked her to devalue and degrade herself were not worthy of her kindness, let alone chunks of her self-esteem.

Had she not choked on swallowed words out of the fear of being called a b***,  or one of the other negative names women are called when they assert themselves, demand and command respect, or protect their boundaries, she’d have never learned that the pain of not doing those things was much worse than ignorant and vulgar name-calling.

That’s when she realized that she was in training.

The less she crawled, the taller she stood.

The less she cried, the clearer her view.

The  more she spoke (up), the stronger her voice.

That’s when she realized that her world didn’t fall apart when she carved out a space for herself in it.

Her days were more vibrant, her relationships stronger. Those who loved and truly respected her were pleased with the change.

Those who didn’t were no longer around.

She was less concerned with being “nice” than being authentic.

That was nice.


25 Ways to Live a Happier Life

As much as you might want to change someone else, you can’t.  That said, it’s important not to buy into the idea that we cannot change ourselves because we can. Take  in the whole lesson in that sentence.  This means that other people can change.  Out goes that whole “Zebra/Stripe” theory.

Living in sync with your value system is commendable (and don’t allow anyone else to convince you otherwise). Still,  it’s important to do a temperature check every so often to make sure that you’re not holding onto ideals and values that no longer fit your life. Doing so isn’t honorable, it’s inflexible and limiting.

Appreciate those men and women who come into your life but do your best not to  try and force them to stay longer than they want to. The tighter your grip, the harder they will try to pull away.

It’s not always easy to let go of toxic relationships (especially if you have invested a lot of time in them).  Still, sipping poison every day will slowly kill your chances of living your best life.

Treat those around you like valuable human beings.  Show a little compassion, listen intently, and give to those around you.  You don’t realize it now but those little gifts work like pebbles in the ocean and create ripples in the universe.

Do what you love as often as you can, even if you cannot do it full-time.

Clean up your mental and physical space.

Look in the mirror and get to know the person staring back at you. Instead of pointing out his or her flaws, give them props for making it this far.

Make time for those people who ask you to spend some time with them.

Live with honor.  There’s a lot to be said for a person who does what he or she says they will do with dignity.

Watch the sun rise. Play in the water. Walk barefoot in the sand. Eat a S’more. Marvel at a bonfire.

Realize that you have a choice in every situation.  You’re rarely at the mercy of someone else.

Hold yourself to a higher standard.

Understand that most of the time, it’s not personal.

Find reasons to laugh.

Cook something. Better yet, cook something for someone.

Find a way to give something to a stranger. Pay it forward a little.

Never miss out on something or someone wonderful because you’re ego convinced you to.

Always find a way to try something new.

Love with great enthusiasm (but know that love often includes pain).

Sit down and take it all in, just don’t allow yourself to get stuck.

Treat people as you would hope they would treat you, even when they don’t.

Look at flowers.  They are truly miracles of nature.

Remember all of the wonderful experiences you have had.

Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have, be grateful. You’re alive. Do something with your time here.